I try to remember what was on my mind, what was that special thing I had been searching. What meanings I was looking for, on what I've actually become. As I stand and look forward, I could see the things I wanted in my life and as I try to step towards them I felt a force pulling me back.
Was I dreaming? Everything seems blur. I was playing with my best buddies and there I am chatting with my siblings at my full volume but then why I felt lost? Have I lost everybody or everybody has lost me? I felt the silence in me.
I opened my eyes and tried to figure out what was going on in my mind. Everything seems normal. I stepped outside to start my day but then I saw faces I have never seen before. They were rushing in great agony towards nothing! Everybody was confused about their own beings, they didn't know why they were running. Someone was searching for his lost self, someone was searching for the lost joy and someone was just asking what he is doing on this earth. When people mourn, and they do that a lot, their brains stop working they could see nothing but darkness and afraid to see the light just for the fear of meeting with the darkness again, I thought.
In rushing through our lives, we literally rush towards nothingness, we start developing distance with our own self. There comes a stage in our lives when we see our self standing in the distance with our inner self. When we are living we focus on how much we get and less on how much we give. How good it would be when we'll meet with ourselves. Life would be a totally different experience then. We'll love ourselves and others equally, we'll understand the meaning of life. But this we could only hope because we've gone too far and the distance has become too great. To cover such a distance and coming back is really a great deal of work.
(Please feel free to comment. Criticism is highly appreciated)
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